Her
by Rasielis
Summary: Akashi is not a toy. He isn't something she could buy with her money. If it works that way, he would only please her as instructed, he would only love her as indicated. His eyes would never see her. His heart would never love her. He would never be on the same world as hers.


**Sequel to Let.**

**_Well if we had the words in times like these  
We wouldn't have to stare  
We'd both know what to say  
And how to pray the things to do to save the day_**

She _is _lovely, her clothes flutter in the air, splaying the colors of rubies and topazes as the light hits it.

She wears a smile, a fragile expression from before. Her eyes were blank, seeing everyone inside the room but seeing nothing at the same time.

She walks with grace, expressing how perfectly and carefully her parents had brought her up.

She greets people, acknowledging them by the strength of their family ties. She speaks without malice but with gentleness, like a mother comforting a child.

The party—like usual—brings the same atmosphere as it did before. The same annual year-end party. The same dash of perfection coming her way. The same disgruntled expression.

"It's nice to see you again," he greets with a smile. She returns his greeting with a smile of her own, but her eyes even though they reflect him, his form still ceased to exist.

"A-Akashi-kun… this is a surprise."

"Indeed."

Eyes casts themselves at both figures, all colored with intrigue and suspicion. Whispers starts, the roars of laughter, and the pity-filled stares.

[_Wasn't she rejected already?_]

[_Huh, so the picky girl actually fell for something unattainable…_]

[_So why is he talking to her? He should just ignore her. After all, she chose another man over him now._]

[_I always knew they weren't meant for one another. Akashi is different from her after all._]

[_Hmph, so after failing to get Akashi she tends to another man to salvage her broken heart? Pitiful._]

She laughs nervously, her eyes withdrawn. "Ah, I'm sorry, Akashi-kun… seems like we really shouldn't be together like this."

He glances at the people who whisper sentiments behind them; his glance drives them away like waves tossing back to the sea. He returns his glance on her, his smile returns to his lips. "I haven't seen you for ten years. I wouldn't waste an opportunity like this just because of something superficial."

"Is that so…?" her voice is dead and empty. A void that needs something to fill it up. "Well, then, can we talk somewhere private? This place doesn't bring comfort to me at all."

Akashi glances around him, his heterochromatic irises weaves through the crowd, searching.

She laughs lightly at his reaction, "If you're worried about him, he's not here. He doesn't wish to meet the person who could easily intimidate him."

Intrigue paints his eyes. "I'm not that kind of person."

[_They're heading out together? Why?_]

[_Ah… seems like something's going on…_]

[_Must be because her fiancé's not around so she tries to get Akashi-sama's attention now._]

[_How daring._]

* * *

**_Some will call it sacrifice  
They'll look at this and never see  
The beauty or how much it means  
The blood that runs inside of me_**

"I didn't know that this place is not far off…" she mumbles almost like a whisper. "Ironic, isn't it?"

"Seems like your memory first led you here," he replies, his hand traces the head of the wooden bench. A reminiscent smile floats to his lips. "This is how I last remember this."

She strides gently and settles at the bench. Her sea blue tresses fall pristinely at rest on her side. Her expression shifts from empty to bare. Her anxiety. Her embarrassment. Her fear. All rolled in her face.

The one who couldn't hide her emotions before learned how in the face of public but not in front of him.

He exhales, taking in the chill of winter to his lungs. He gazes at the place before them. It was a barren garden with flowers rotted to the ground due to abandonment, and rusted fences that may give in anytime due to years of not getting any replacements. The ground is filled with heaps of snow, white and pristine and pure and innocent. The same way as the two of them before.

However, everything happened ten years ago. What conspired before is different from _right_ now.

They have grown more mature and more sensible than before. The sole reason why she promised herself to another man despite the unanswered problem between the two of them.

"Akashi-kun."

"Yes? What is it?"

He glances at her, his smile still rests on his lips, untouched and unfazed. She averts her gaze, embarrassed. Hesitation holds her tongue, the words trapped in her throat, struggling for freedom.

"I'm sorry." She pushes the words, bit by bit. Her throat begins to hurt from her efforts to stop herself from brimming to tears. "I didn't mean to embarrass you like this."

[_I heard that she cancelled the engagement herself._]

[_How brave… but isn't it the other way around?_]

[_She was the one who was chasing after him after all, maybe she lost heart…_]

[_But didn't Akashi confirmed that he is still planning to consider her after ten years? He said he is too young to think of it so in the meantime… _]

[_What was that supposed to mean?_]

He stares at the cloudy skies, the moon… the stars… they all hid away from sight leaving the atmosphere cold and dark. The secrets stirring in the wind as it brushes along the rotten flowers taking its wilting petals along its journey.

He inhales.

"Why are you apologizing?"

* * *

**_I know you understand  
That there's no map for this, no plan_**

And the way we say goodbye  
Is not that way that anyone would do

"I'm cancelling the engagement, Father," she stands firm, her throat hurting as she tries to keep the tears at bay. "I don't want to associate with—"

"What are you saying?" her father voices out, confused. "Why would you cancel the engagement? Isn't everything going well with you and Akashi?"

"I'm cancelling it." She repeats. She tightens her hold on her skirt, creating creases on the nicely ironed fabric. Her heart clenches painfully rendering her breathless, weak, pitiful. "Please… cancel it."

"Do you know the implication of your decision, dear?" her father asks, not willing to let her make her final say, not willing to let a conglomerate as big as Akashi's go. "This would definitely reflect badly with our connections with the Aka—"

She inhales. Her blue irises gleams at the touch of the chandelier's lights, it shows determination and will to let the efforts of a year go to waste. She exhales, "Please."

Her father studies her face, noticing the dark bags under her eyes, the paleness of her skin and the thinning of her body. The results of her return from the twentieth of December weighs down on her image. "What brought this, dear?" her father tries again for the second time, oblivious to the message she is trying to will across.

She averts her gaze to the vase standing proudly on her left. Roses adorn the ceramic, which lost all its thorns before it gets permission for display. A lone petal falls down, no longer having an advantage to show its beauty. It would drift in the wind and will soon wilt like the others before it.

"I can't…" she swallows the lump forming on her throat and struggles to choke her next words. "I can't… I can't have him…"

"But he agreed, didn't he? Come now, tell me what's the problem… we'll talk it out with Akashi-kun. I'm sure he will listen… I'm sure he will…"

_I want him… _

She swallows hard again, her fingers clenching in annoyance.

Akashi is not a toy. He isn't something she could buy with her money. If it works that way, he would only please her as instructed, he would only love her as indicated. His eyes would never see her. His heart would never love her. He would never be on the same world as hers.

_I want him… _

Her tears fell, one by one, like droplets dripping from an improperly closed faucet. Her vision blurs while her surroundings starts to spin, her head pounds but she cannot let herself stop.

"What's wrong, honey? Are you hurt anywhere?" her father asks, concerned. He reaches out to pat her but she slaps his hand away.

"Why can't you understand me, Father?" she voices out. She is aching all over but her father seems oblivious, seeing past the pain that already spreads out her whole body. "I can't have Akashi-kun! I refuse to have him! I don't want him anymore!"

She runs away, slamming the door shut behind her. Her footfalls echoes along the halls, desperate for a way of escape, desperate to find freedom and desperate to simply waste away.

Akashi doesn't have the right to be treated as her toy. He isn't a trophy she wins with every achievement. He isn't someone she gets after working so hard for it. He isn't something she could get with the flick of a hand.

[_Did you hear? Both families officially announced it yesterday._]

* * *

**_Like a wave out on the ocean  
I will always come right back to you  
Like we blinked  
Not a moment is gone_**

The wind softly caresses his face, taking some red tresses along. He lets the wind play along, while his gaze focuses at the words across the page. His mind is empty, not taking in whatever is written on the fragile pieces of paper in front of him.

The girl ended their relationship by herself. She ends the engagement between the two of them—the only connection they established—quickly without asking for his opinion. She ends it right in front of him and his father.

He remembers her crying. Salty tears bulges and makes its way down her face and down the floor below. Her words come out as unclear sentiments as she apologizes for everything.

She apologizes for spending time with him, apologizes for getting too close to him, apologizes for stealing his precious time, and apologizes for being a nuisance.

_Even though… she isn't really a bother…_

She forgets all of her supposed image just so she could tear up in front of them and apologize.

She stoops low, something he would never expect of her.

His father remains silent and waits until she was able to calm down. He too waits though his lips parts wanting to say something but the words were trapped on his throat, refusing release.

"I'm really sorry…" her father shifts uncomfortably in his seat, clearly embarrassed by his daughter's actions. "My daughter… I don't know what has gotten to her. She just wanted to take it all back. She doesn't want to push through anymore. It's not like anyone forced her into this…"

Akashi glances at her, she didn't respond to the insult. She remains in the ground, quietly sobbing, her words silently taken by the cold and emotionless ground. Something inside him wants to attend to her, to help her up and apologize for not telling her of his presence during the twentieth.

However, he stills, his gaze blank and his emotions masked away.

The room fell silent with only her sobs as its background. The atmosphere heavy and tense, the room playing in the words of whoever wants to speak next.

"It's fine." His father speaks, his tone tinged in finality. Akashi closes his eyes knowing full well what would happen next. "I would accept the lady's decisions, however due to the announcement of the engagement and the certain bond both companies shared; I cannot simply deface our connections."

Her father nods hanging onto every word, as if his balance would topple if he doesn't.

"Therefore, we shall cover this up with properly. I would set up a conference one of these days and let Seijuro do the talking," his father decides, his gaze fell on Akashi.

The redhead nods, claiming responsibility, one vital for him if he wants to inherit his father's position.

"I would do what I can."

He looks at her and waits for her to raise her blue eyes and spare him a glance. However, she only raise to her feet, wiping the remnants of her tears and bows low as a maid led her out of the room.

She didn't even turn back.

[_Therefore due to prior achievements that both companies as a group can achieve without having their successors tied in marriage, it has been decided._]

All the eyes of famous and rich families in the business world where his life would soon revolve focuses on him. It searches for concrete evidence across his face, criticizes the failure of the engagement, and speculates what results it might bring.

Akashi wants to laugh. He wants to announce to all these people that the company he would manage in the future does not need to depend on something flimsy as marriage with a daughter from another successful business tycoon.

It is not needed.

His company could stand by his own guidance and his own decisions. He can succeed all alone. He isn't born perfect without a reason. He isn't brought out carefully and strictly for nothing.

"… If by all means after ten years we can rethink the engagement again. Maybe this time, we could finally decide about what we really wanted for the future."

He blurts out, causing people to stare deeper and skim more of what his face would show. He smiles, pride dancing on his eyes. People at the same time are all fickle and weak, wanting a threshold for insurance, wanting strength to stand and wanting someone to plan out the future.

The last words of his announcement are empty. Simply something which would hold people's dismay back and make them proud of his ideals. It was simple to placate each and everyone standing in the room like usual.

He looks around, examining their faces, seeing the awe and the pride he wants to see. He skims the crowd, searching for something that strains disapproval. It takes all heads in the front row till he recognizes a familiar head.

_Her._

She looks up at him but her eyes didn't reflect him even if he is standing there—the holder of everyone's eyes—her eyes still looks past him.

He could say it was surprising.

She is really broken from top to bottom.

A broken music box singing cacophonies to the air which can't carry the weight of its misery.

* * *

**_It's like the world is draped in a camouflage  
And sometimes never what it seems_**

"Every twentieth of December, eleven forty nine in the evening," he starts, his breathing visible in the humid air. His heart beats a slow and steady rhythm.

She stirs, her brows furrowing in confusion. Her lips part about to say something.

"I visit this place and…" he smiles, reminiscent about his usual visitations to this place. Remembering how he would always wait for nothing, simply letting the snow fell unceremoniously to his head and letting his body feel the chill. "wait…"

"Why would you do such thing…" her voice breaks unintentionally as he faces her, seeing the edges of her eyes water. "No one asks you to wait out here in the cold."

"No one does…" he acquiesces, "But it's not half bad… I always manage to head back before the cold became unbearable."

She falls silent. She bites her lower lip, a shadow of helplessness crosses her face.

"I simply remembered…" he continues when she hints refusal to speaking. "I made you wait here… and I didn't show up when I was already there."

"Y-You were there?" she questions, her eyes wide at the confession. She stands to her feet, betrayal splayed around her features. "You were there but you didn't show up?"

_I want you too…_

"It doesn't seem right in the first place…" he answers, lightly shrugging. His face stoic, not showing any signs of a reaction to her outburst. "Besides… you were leaving already. You decided not to wait anymore."

The betrayal in her face fades as guilt steps in, her eyes about to brim tears. Her breathing comes out slow and clear at the humid air. "I… I didn't know…" she answers, her gaze falling to her ruby shoes which gleams in the darkness. "I-If I knew… I would wait… I…" she swallows hard, her body trembles with her effort to stay whole even though she is already breaking inside.

He walks to her and cups her face gently, his eyes withdrawn as it reflects her broken state. He doesn't enjoy this. He doesn't want to see her broken nor in pain. He wants a smile, the same foolish smile she gave him back when she was head over heels with him.

"I know you would wait…" he breathes out, his cool breathing touches her face urging her eyes to flutter close. "You wouldn't stay out in the cold for an hour without a reason."

[_How impolite. Akashi-kun told her to wait for ten years… when they're more mature to handle things…_]

[_Honestly, what is in that guy that she could throw away Akashi aside easily? If it were me, I wouldn't refuse him._]

[_Foolish girl…_]

* * *

**_Everyone's got different things  
They hide behind or try to be  
But the things I carry with me  
All remind me who I am_**

Her fiance has always been nice to her ever since they entered university together. He guides her all throughout, supports her when she needs it and always attends to her needs.

At first, she dismisses his sentiments as something trivial. She thinks that like every one he is only after her reputation as someone who could handle things properly when it comes to business. And as someone who would soon succeed her father and lead a successful company.

However, it turns out he isn't like any of them. He does care about her and he does love her. His sentiments are enough for her to melt and for her to let him in her world.

She imagines falling for him the same way she fell in love before and imagines finally being loved by someone.

She let herself drift in delusions that she could finally forget what haunts her for long. Forget Akashi Seijourou. Forget their engagement. Forget falling for him. Forget waiting for him on his birthday.

She deludes herself on finally being free of the redhead.

But it doesn't always goes as planned, by the time she agrees on her fiance's marriage proposal, Akashi floats back to her life.

News arrives about him journeying back to Tokyo after he handled the expansion of their business overseas. Televisions show his face in all the news she comes across, expressing his perfection and his air as the new owner of the Akashi's group of companies.

She stares at the screen for long, forgetting what she fixates herself on earlier. Her lips slightly parts about to say something but forgets what it is. Her heart silently beats—the same way it did years ago when she was still sixteen and naïve—for the same man who broke her heart before.

Her delusions burn in her eyes as she watch him give a professional smile at interviews. Her eyes would unintentionally pin itself on the screen whenever she hears him speak. His voice becomes manlier than last time and always carries a professional tone.

His face is gentle. His eyes are expressive. His expressions are classical.

She is drawn to him once again before she could even stop herself.

Akashi's reappearance leads to her fiance to feel insecure about his position on her heart, and it reveals the monster in him. He feels jealousy over someone who would never care about her now.

She simply keeps her silence despite the repeat of slamming doors and the cacophony of his screams. She hides her wounds carefully with her clothes so no one sees the effect of his jealousy. She refuses to believe that her fiance is this jealous man, she presses on believing the kind man he was before.

She uses Akashi as an escape, her gaze stares at his face whenever she attempts to give up. Just seeing him gives her courage to escape her mistreatment.

She is weak inside despite the fact that she could handle business with a cool head, she needs her fiance for the love he could give her. She aches for someone who would love her.

So she withdraws all her real feelings to herself and pretends in front of him so to diffuse his jealousy.

After a long while, he goes back to the loving her and by then, her wounds begin to heal.

* * *

**_When so much of me is not with me  
What matters most is what I leave_**

_**Behind for you to keep**_  
_**Yeah, so smile when you think of me**_

[_Ah… I really couldn't stand the sight of them… I heard he was beating her!_]

[_The poor girl always endures… it must have been tough…_]

[_If she just waited for Akashi…_]

Her eyes automatically flutters close as his lips touches hers. Her breath hitches on her throat, her heart pulsating wildly on her chest. She wraps her arms around his waist, allowing herself to dream.

His lips were soft and warm against hers. He is gently handling her as if she is porcelain, so fragile that anyone can break her into pieces.

His hands were warm on her cheeks, she could already feel herself burn.

Something in his kiss made her feel so alive, a sensation she never felt from her fiance's kisses. Something, which made her feel like for once someone, could actually love her despite not being as perfect as him.

_This isn't real, is it? _

Dazed, she opens her eyes slightly; her sea blue irises reflect the familiar crimson of his tresses. Her gaze clearly seeing the boy she falls in love with before and now seeing the man he has become.

She closes her eyes for the second time, her arms raises to his neck and pulls him close even though he is already close enough. She kisses him back with tenderness and longing, she never thought she would feel.

She wants him to know her feelings and asks him not to respond to them. All she wants is this, the fleeting delusion that somehow he did love her. That somehow, his heart beats the same way as hers did, that his heterochromatic eyes reflects her and that he would finally tell her something.

She contents herself with this dream.

He gently pushes her down on the bench, the wood rattling at her weight as he presses against her lips once again allowing her only a patch of oxygen.

_I love you… I love you Akashi…_ her mind screams, her thoughts in disarray, and her heartbeats hard as if she would die if it doesn't. It never crossed her mind that she would always love him and would never love anyone else but him.

All these years of trying to forget… of latching onto her fiance's faux romance… had been nothing in the spell of his kiss.

Every trouble tosses themselves back to the wide sea and rests before bringing a new set with different emotions.

His hand starts to travel and touch hers, she could feel his fingers linger at her ring, the cold metal biting at her skin. She pulls back, embarrassment in her features, she doesn't deserve this dream. She doesn't deserve him anymore. She breathes out, preventing herself from tearing up all of a sudden.

"Akashi-kun… I… I'm—"

He draws closer to her face cutting off her sentence, his cool breath touched her lips making her tremble in fear. "I'm…"

His hand intertwines with hers as he silently crosses the distance between them and kisses her again. She strains to kiss back, her free hand already latches itself around him, not willing to release the delusion yet.

She feels ashamed, it is wrong to love him already and wrong to desire him like this. She already released him before. She has no right to—

She opens her eyes as he releases her, his forehead touching hers. She cannot let herself breathe, cannot allow herself to let him disappear despite the quarrelling thoughts in her mind.

"Ten years ago… I told the public that maybe we could finally decide differently in the future…" he speaks, his voice almost a whisper to her ears, he reaches for her hand.

The engagement ring gleams in protest at her betrayal, she winces involuntarily.

"You don't need this anymore." He says, his eyes narrowing at the ring.

The cold metal binding her ring finger fell to the ground and alongside it is the underlying fact that she will never belong to anyone other than the man before her.

* * *

**A/N: **_Rambles about the sequel for Let:_

_Well, first, this is dedicated to all the readers of Let and the people who wanted to see a sequel out of it. Second, apologies~ since I never thought off creating a sequel for Let due to the fact that somehow I may end up ruining whatever is there in "Let". However, last night, the strike of inspiration came and voila! the sequel's done!_

_So yeah, I hope it doesn't ruin the image of the first story. Aaannnddd I hope I got Akashi right... (You really need to check that first if you're a new reader so to provide a backstory to whatever's in here)_

_Okay, daz all! Happy reading~_


End file.
